Of cold winds and death beyond
by WiseAvenger
Summary: This story is set on the morning of Asuma's funeral. Ino decides to try to find Shikamaru and finds him on a hill not far away. They talk about some stuff... Sorry if the summary sucked. One-shot


A smooth, soft breeze swept towards Konoha, blithe and gay. It made the leaves in the trees sway and the clear, blue water of the silent river ripple. Oh, what a sweet whistling sound it made as it flew past! The grass in the hill danced with it, swaying to the left and to the right. The flowers bobbed their heads in time with the music of the breeze. A boy of fifteen lay in the masses of sweet, green grass high up on the said hill, a long stalk of weed in his mouth. He sported his signature frown as the gay breeze swept over him. It was all too happy and full of life; he needed some time alone. All the more frustrated he became when he perceived that the flowers seemed to be smiling and laughing at him. Annoyed at the disturbances going on in his head, Shikamaru decided to look for a quieter place. Higher up he climbed until he found a lone tree with wide, broad leaves. He stopped beneath it and scrutinized the shade above and the grass below. It all seemed highly desirable so he decided to lie there, closing his tired eyes to drown out the sounds of the happy world around him. A million questions flooded into his weary mind that he could not decide which to think of first. Unspoken rage filled his soul. He could not see things straight because of this. His concentration was greatly affected; he could not even perform a simple jutsu. He was frustrated, not only with the world but, most of all, with himself.

_I'm so weak... In the end, I couldn't do anything._

A nap seemed to be the best remedy to his troubles so he took one. The darkness as he closed his eyes soothed his soul, plastering a quick smile across his face. But, just as he was crossing the bridge between reality and the land of dreams, the smell of sweet perfume wafted into his direction. Bothered by the unusual fragrance, he opened one eye to investigate and presently saw the shadow of a girl, about his age, walking up to him. A half-smile, half-frown was playing on her face, unable to determine which emotion to express. Shikamaru, on the other hand, frowned. In a second, she was beside him, sitting in a comfortable position.

"Hey."

The feminine voice removed him from his much-needed reverie. Instead of sitting up, though, he just lay there, preferring unaware of his teammate's presence. If he showered attention upon the brat, she was sure to speak nonstop about his faults and other people's faults and that was one thing he did not need at a time like this. As a matter of fact, he'll never ever need it. He pretended to sleep and just as his eyes were about to close again she repeated the greeting, now in a more firm and commanding tone. Shikamaru now chose to sat up, quite afraid of what she might do to him if he did not follow. There was no playing around with Ino when she used that tone. He stared sluggishly at her peculiar smile and removed the stalk of grass from his mouth.

"What bad wind brought you here?" He muttered, yawning and stretching his arms. "Some weather we have today..."

"Chouji was wondering why you weren't there to see _his_ burial and I figured you'd be here. He was too tired to climb up here anyway so I'm all alone. Chouji was stressed since last week. The pain must've brushed onto him too hard." Her eyes moved from his irritated face to the kunai clasped tightly in his hand. "You look freaked, to say the least. It seems to me that you're ready for _them_ if they'd jump at you and finish you off like they did to--"

He cut her short. Ino looked shocked but a slap felt much better than hearing _that_ name again. "Maybe I did." He replaced the kunai on his bag. "I'd have preferred that anyway. It's all too hard, seeing it all and doing nothing. It's so grotesque and unnerving."

Ino pulled up her legs close and hugged them. "You were scared out fo your wits, weren't you?" She let out a sigh. "I mean, anyone would be. I'd be scared too. Unlike you, I'd have stayed rooted at the spot where I stood and just watched the scene unfold right before my very eyes. I'd be very traumatized. I've seen lots of people die in the hospital in uglier circumstances but this..." Her voice nearly cracked but her eyes did not betray whatever emotion she felt inside; they were still two pools of happy-looking blue. "It's all so different."

Shikamaru sneered at her and moved into a sitting position, his back touching the trunk of the tree. "How troublesome..." He muttered. "_Baka_! Of course it's different. Those people dying in there meant nothing to you. You had no special bond with them. Asuma-sensei was our teacher and we've shared lots of special things with him and--" He stopped halfway. He was so sure that the memories would come flooding again and he would break down. He couldn't let that happen. At least, not in front of Ino. "That makes all the difference."

She rested her hands on the ground and watched him intently. "Are you blaming _them_ for this?"

He did not answer immediately for he was choosing his words carefully. Then came the blunt answer. "No. I'm blaming myself."

He looked away and watched the clouds fly past, his chin in his hand. Ino watched him sadly. Out of the three of them, Shikamaru had been affected the most - not just because he had seen how their beloved teacher was robbed of life but also because Asuma was closest to him. They had shared many missions together. They played Shogi against each other usually at this type of weather - not so hot, not so cold: just right - in front of the Nara home. They also shared the same respect for each other. It was clear to see that Shikamaru was Asuma's favorite student. Now that the _sensei_ has left, how could life for the student ever be the same again? Who would accompany him during missions? Train him everyday? Take him out for barbecue? Play Shogi with him? Ino felt, deep in her heart, sorrow for her teammate.

"Sometimes," He said, all of a sudden, still watching the clouds. "No, always... I always wonder what I could have given up to have him here right now. I always took for granted the times we had together - sharing and laughing at jokes, eating barbecue, training, doing missions... I thought he'd never leave. I mean, I had it in the back of my mind but I didn't expect it to happen this soon. Now I regret the times when I made him feel frustrated or angry because of me. I remember that time when Sound ninjas attacked Konoha. He was there in the time of my peril. He saved me... He saved me not only once but many times but, in that one moment, I couldn't do anything for him." He clenched his fists tightly. "He could have let me share the pain with him but he wouldn't let me... Just smiled at me and said he could handle it on his own... How arrogant." He laughed awkwardly. "But he couldn't and I tried to intervene but _they_ wouldn't let me. They held me back and I watched as he was helplessly murdered right before my eyes. I couldn't do anything. I couldn't save him. I failed..."

"Do you even think there was such a time?" Ino asked in a voice so sudden that it scared the wits out of him. She looked annoyed, to say the least. "Do you think there was such a time when you failed him? Or you disappointed him? Or you made him angry? Do you think there was such a time?"

"Ino..."

"Maybe you don't see it or you're just too lazy to notice it, but I try my hardest to win _his_ affections. I wanted him to praise me. I wanted him to tell me how good I was. You might laugh at me and tell me that it's all about ego. Yes, maybe that's it. It all boils down to ego. But even if I exert all my effort and train very hard, at the end of the day it'll still be you. It's you he still looks up to, even when you commit stupid mistakes. You... You never disappointed him. You never failed him and yet you think you did? You are such a freak, Shikamaru."

He looked at her, completely puzzled. He could feel a tinge of disappointment in her voice but that was all. He couldn't see any reason why she was rampaging that way. "Ino... What are you--?"

"Even your IQ of 200 doesn't even help you! How stupid of you!" She continued, taunting him. "Can't you see? Can't you see it at all? He was... He died happy. Just because you were there... He was happy because we were there. He was complete. He could die. He saw everything he's wanted and could ever want. He was happier than anybody else who lived in this world! Can't you see?"

"But if he were alive he could still--"

"Oh, shut up! Didn't you hear me? He's had everything. Everything."

Shikamaru shut his mouth, in accordance with her will, and just looked up at the sky. Fleecy, white clouds dotted the enormous expanse of endless blues, oranges, and pinks. The sun was well behind the rows of dark-green mountains. Somewhere on the village, a bell rang loudly, signalling the end of the day. Ino mumbled an apology for the sudden outburst and he nodded which meant that he had forgiven her. A long period of silence ensued between the two, neither knowing what to say. A cool, north wind blew; perhaps it aided in arranging the thoughts of the young lad.

"You know what?" Shikamaru said, lighting a cigarette. "Sometimes I think this has all been nothing but a nightmare, that I would wake up any minute from now and find out everything's all right. Asuma-sensei," He finally found the courage to say the name without flinching. "Asuma-sensei is alive. Then we'd all be happy. We'd resume our daily habits... But that wouldn't be something like reality." He sighed, puffing a gray cloud of cigarette smoke. "Ain't gonna happen, I guess."

"You ought to know," Ino replied "Dreaming is absolutely free."

"Yeah, I know, but... Whatever. _Your_ kind wouldn't understand." He smiled, the kind of smile a kid would give after he had done something certainly mischievous. "You won't tell anybody - not even Chouji - about this, would you?"

"Of course not! Why should he know? I promise," She said, extending her pinky finger. "That nobody would know."

Shikamaru looked at her hand and then at her face, puzzled. Obviously, he did not know what this was about. He wondered what sort of "deviltry" she was about to do. Ino, seeing his uneasiness (and she delighted in his uneasiness) took hold of his right hand and thrust out his pinky finger. Then, she interlaced them. When this was done, she held it up for him to see.

"See? I won't tell." She said, pinkies still intertwined. "Never. This would only be between you and me."

"Alright." He sighed and took his hand back. He resumed his day-dreaming stance and put his hands behind his head as he began to lie down on the grass. "I thought it was all a dream. But something or someone would always take me back to reality. Those people, you, Chouji, and Kurenai-sensei... You all take me back to reality. And I'm reminded that all things are temporal. Asuma-sensei _had_ to go. And, somehow, I grasp that awful reality that he's gone forever. But then, dreaming seems like a real comfort. It makes reality vague and I start that reverie all over again."

"I know. Sometimes I do that, too. The feeling is so unnerving."

"Yeah." He nodded in agreement. "I understand that."

"But then I get the idea that he isn't coming back anymore. When I think of it as that way, I begin to cry. I don't think the quotation, '_Time heals all wounds_' is true. I get the feeling that I'll remember this my whole life."

"Uh-huh. Me too." He closed his eyes slowly. Those eyes of him were incredibly sore and weary that he couldn't stay awake for another minute. "Would you mind if I sleep?"

"No. I'll be going soon anyway. Dad would need some help with the shop." Ino removed out the cigarette from his mouth and threw it away. "You shouldn't smoke while sleeping. It's dangerous."

"Whatever... Just let me sleep, alright?"

"Sure thing. I know you've been feeling horrible these past days."

"No... We've all been feeling horrible."

She lingered for a while and watched him fall into a deep sleep. The rise and fall of his chest and the sound of his breathing made her feel at peace. Another wind blew, this time from the south. She rubbed her bare shoulders and stood up, feeling slightly feverish from the passing breeze. Then, she stood up and left.


End file.
